We were recently asked if incidents of domestic violence increase during the holidays. This led a discussion about how the tension, stress, and anxiety probably make the holidays an even more dangerous time for those experiencing domestic violence. We did a little digging, and it turns out, that’s actually not the case!
The common misconception is not supported by the available data or studies. Instead, studies show that there is no significant increase in reports of domestic violence during the holiday season, and some even reflect a decrease in the reported instances of domestic violence during this time of year. And while a misunderstanding of the prevalence of domestic violence during the holidays is one thing, what can be really detrimental is the logic offered to support this false assertion. People often attribute an increase in domestic violence incidents to the fact that during the holidays, people are generally a little more stressed out (finances get stretched thinly, emotions are running high), and everyone is just generally spending more time together than normal. On the surface, those explanations might even seem to make a little bit of sense! However, the problem with these explanations is that they perpetuate domestic violence myths we have been working so hard to debunk. So, as a friendly reminder during this joyous time of year:
Domestic violence is not the result of one person losing their temper or getting too stressed out. Domestic violence is not at all synonymous with having issues regulating one’s anger, or having impulse control problems. In fact, it is often the exact opposite: the abuse is usually very methodical, thought-out, and purposeful - the abuser knows exactly what he is doing. This is because domestic violence is about one person intentionally trying to exert control over another person.
Domestic violence is not a result of two people spending too much time together. We’ve heard this one a lot, and it just does not make any sense. People who spend a lot of time together can certainly get on one another’s nerves, but claiming that this can cause domestic violence totally shifts all of the blame away from the abuser, which is dangerous and misses the point: domestic violence is not about two people bugging each other, it is about power and control.
Remember, abusers are abusive, regardless of the time of year or external factors.
This publication is for informational purposes only. It does not contain any legal advice, and should not be used as a substitute for consulting an attorney. We always recommend that you consult an attorney for advice regarding your specific situation.