When we think about domestic violence, the first thing that comes to mind is often physical abuse. Cuts and bruises and broken bones may be the most obvious kind of domestic violence, but the most common kind of domestic violence is financial abuse, which is present in over 95% of domestic violence cases.
Domestic violence centers around behavior that an abuser uses to gain or maintain power and control. Not surprisingly, using financials is often the “best” way for an abuser to do this. They prevent their partner from utilizing or accessing financial resources, which will force the victim to become financially dependent on the abuser. Financial abuse is used in conjunction with other kinds of abuse, but, because financial abuse is not as obvious as other forms of domestic violence, it can be difficult to spot.
The abuser may interfere with the victim’s ability to get or keep a job. One of the easiest ways for an abuser to control their partner is to ensure that they are not earning their own money. This means that they may make it very difficult or even impossible for the victim to work.
They may sabotage job interviews – forcing the victim to be late or miss an employment opportunity all together.
They may make it very difficult for the victim to get to work – hiding keys, restricting access to transportation, or altogether preventing them from leaving the home.
They may show up at the victim’s work place and cause a scene. The victim may be reprimanded or even fired for this, or, they may quit on her own, due to the shame and embarrassment they feel.
They may insist that the victim quit their job or reduce the hours that the victim works. They may point to an “issue” at home that requires the victim do this – the children aren’t being properly cared for or the home isn’t being maintained to their liking.
The abuser may prevent the victim from accessing funds. They may limit the victim’s ability to use credit cards and cash, or limit access to funds through ATMs or the bank. They may also demand that the victim turn over any funds that they earned themself – or even prevent them from seeing her hard earned money at all, by requiring that they deposit checks into the abuser’s account.
The abuser may prevent the victim from holding any assets. The abuser may demand that all joint assets – like a deed, mortgage, or title – be in their name only. Even if the victim does have assets that are theirs alone, the abuser may force the victim to give or sign them over.
The abuser may use debt as a form of control. The abuser may force the victim to use their credit in a way that is detrimental. It is not uncommon for an abuser to force a victim to open credit cards or apply for loans for things that are for both of them, or even solely for the abuser. The abuser may also open accounts in the victim’s name, without their knowledge or consent. This can be especially damaging, as the abuser can destroy the victim’s credit, making them further dependent on the abuser.
Even when a victim is ready to leave an abusive partner, they are often unable to do so because of financial limitations. Especially when children are involved, staying in an abusive situation may seem like the better of two awful options. Because they have had limited access to money or assets, the victim does not have the financial resources to provide for themself and their children on their own. At least in the current situation, they know that the children will have beds to sleep in and food to eat.
If you are experiencing domestic violence, we urge you to seek help. You are not alone. There are many resources available to help those in need, including safety planning, transitional housing, and legal assistance.